Quick Coconut Bread Slice

Okay, this took me literally 2 minuites! How often is it that you find a recipe that takes 2 minuites to throw together? Zilch. None. Okay.. very rare. But seriously, there is 4 ingredients in this bread/cake.
And I can eat it. (Whoo!).

Enough with the celebration, and time for the eating.
I just typed in 'coconut bread' into Google, and up came recipes calling for 2 eggs. But I only had one egg. Yea.. Awkward.

So I scrolled down this time (I'm not ususally one for scrolling down the Google pages.. because let's be honest.. you only look at the Top 5 results shown) and came across this little beauty. I really shouldn't be praising this bread just yet, because it's actually still in the oven.

It takes 40 minuites to cook, which kind of makes up for that 2 minuites rush of prepping the thing.

Talking about 4 ingredients, theres actually a book/show of two Australian women who have devised the most amazing recipes out of just 4 ingredients. The website is amazing, and all the ingredients are in the pantry or in the fridge. Frickin' bonus!

I just took it out, and tried it, and it tasted really raw inside, so I just threw it back into the oven to cook a bit more inside...aaand that didn't really cook inside. So I just gobbled it up before anyone could notice.

Coconut Bread Slice
- 1 cup of dessicated coconu
- 1 cup SR flour
- 1/2 cup caster sugar
- 3/4 cup milk

Method
Preheat the oven to 170 degrees celcius
Combine all the dry ingredients together, and mix. When all combined, add in the milk and stir. The mixture should be a very thick coconutty mixture. Throw the mixture into a greased loaf pan and cook for 40 mins until a knife comes out clean.

Whole Wheat Molasses Bread

Did you know that Honey is the only food in the world that will never spoil? Yep. Honey was found in tombs in ancient Egypt and was consumed by archeologists. Bizarre.

Did you know that the oldest peice of chewing gum is 9000 years old? Gross, but cool.

Did you know there are more then 10,000 different varieties of tomatoes? Wow. I only thought there was two, the simple red tomato, and the occasional green tomato that I had a glance at as someone was buying it at the grocery market.

Did you know that combining whole wheat flour combined with molasses and yoghurt produces the thickest batter ever? And it pulls muscles in your arm while trying to combine the little shit together? True fact.

Did you know that the Brisbane Floods are so bad that they reached up to 4.7 metres this morning? Horrific.

Thick, eh? Yeah, this is the reason I can barely type any more.. the pulled muscle.

P.s In France people eat approximatley 500,000,000 snails per year. PER YEAR. I think I'm going to hurl.

Whole Wheat Molasses Bread

Adapted from Joy the Baker
makes one 8×4 or 9×5-inch loaf

- 1 2/3 cups buttermilk or plain yogurt
- 2 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
- 1/2 cup cornmeal
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/2 cup molasses


Method
Place a rack in the center of the oven and preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Grease and flour an 8×4 or 9×5-inch loaf pan. Non-stick baking spray works well too.
In a large bowl, whisk together flour, cornmeal, salt and baking
soda.
In a small bowl whisk together buttermilk or yogurt and molasses.

Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and fold to combine. The batter will be slightly thick, but not dry. Spoon batter into prepared pan and place in the oven. Bake loaf for 45 minutes to an hour. Depending on how evenly your oven bakes, you might want to rotate the loaf in the middle of baking. Be careful though. Don’t manhandle it too hard or it might deflate.

When a skewer inserted in the center of the loaf comes out clean, remove the loaf from the oven and allow to cool for 20 minutes in the loaf pan. Run a butter knife along the sides of the pan and carefully invert onto a wire rack.

Loaf will keep, well wrapped at room temperature for up to 4 days.
Serve with cream cheese, jam, salted butter or nutella.

P.ps.  Lemons contain more sugar then strawberries.

Butter Roasted Vanilla Sugared Almonds

I haven't slept properly in like 3 nights in a row. It's getting to me. Badly.

A tiny thing will totally set me off. Like Friends, it was scheduled to run at 10.30am. I sat there for two whole minutes waiting for Joey's face to appear.

No such luck. Okay two minuites does not sound like a long time, but trust me, when you are so cranky and irratible it's like... urgghh I don't even know how to explain.

 Friends was not scheduled to run today. The TV guide was wrong.

Don't you hate that? I am in such a fit right now. Honestly, if you could see me right now, you would see how much harm I'm doing to this poor innocent laptop by punching the keyes as I type.

Oh well, tough tits. i'm tired, bored, irratible and way way way to overtired to even bother to have a nap.

But on the other hand, by nibbling on these morsels every few minuites kinda gives you a sugar rush and little bit more energy then sleeping in for a couple of more hours. And remember, your energy is way different from my energy. Chronic Fatigue.. duh!

If you magically happen to be in the same boat as me right about now. Don't fight the angryness inside you, make these now and do a favour to those around you prone to your lash outs of rage of not getting a goodnights sleep.

                                                   

Oh and... the monthly visit of Aunt Flo does not help either. Sugar, vanilla and almonds with a hint of butter.. goodbye back, stomach and neck pain. Hello surge of energy.

Butter Roasted Vanilla Almonds

- 1 cup of raw almonds

- 3 Tb Icing Sugar

- 2 Tb Butter

- 1 tsp vanilla essence, or 1/2 a teaspoon of vanilla bean paste.

Method

Place the almonda in a large saucepan and cook ovver moderate heat. Stir constantly until the nuts become browner and it is clear that they have been roasted. Also.. bite into some to check it out. Throw in the icing sugar and keep stirring until sugar is melted. Add the vanilla and butter and keep stirring. The end result should be roasted almonds with a caramel-ly sugary finish and a vanilla hit. The butter is not entirely necessary, it just gives the nuts a little shine and glossyness.

Blueberry Granita

The original recipe calls for blackberry, hence the name blackberry granita on Joy the Baker's blog.

But you know me, being rebellious like that, changing the berry type.

"Apparantly" the granita tastes like a slushy with a hint of berry, according to my sister. Well.. seeing as the whole flavour was blueberry I wouldn't be to surprised if there was a berry flavour. :/

I'm totally hooked on the series "True Blood".. so good! I usually hate all that vampire stuff, like twilight. I seriously do not get the craze that all the fans have. But True Blood on the other hand, now that is a totally different story. It's kinda like Desperate Housewives mixed with vampires.

 Totes. Hooked.

I am in love with that colour! Tha deep purply pinky puree tastes even nice then it looks. Seriously. Your in for a real treat. The crunchy ice berry crystals are SO designed for summer. Instead of ice-cream at shops, wh ydon't they sell more granita? I want a granita shop to open in every city around the world.

More icey crystals and less creamy stuff.

I love ice-cream, but c'mon, even the sight of this is enough to make you drool on a hot summers day.

Pretty much a few ingredients, a splash of lemon and a dash of sugar creates a cool fruity summery pleaser. And the bonus is, you probably have all the ingredients already in the kitchen!
 
Except that vodka that you finished on New Years Eve, you should probably buy some more of that...
 
 
Blueberry Granita
                     Adapted from Joy the Baker
 
3 cups water
2/3 cup granulated sugar
2 heaping cups frozen blueberries (un-thawed)
juice of 1 lemon
2 teaspoons vodka (optional)
whipped cream (sweetened as much as you like)

Method
In a medium saucepan heat water and sugar until sugar dissolves. Add frozen blueberries and cook for about 5 to 7 minutes over medium heat. Stir to break blackberries up a bit as they cook.
Once blueberries are broken and cooked, place half of the blackberry and liquid mixture in a blender. Pulse and blend until a berries are broken down into a puree. Place a fine mesh strainer over the pot containing the other half of liquid and berries, and strain the puree into the pan. The end result is berry pieces, whole berries, blueberry liquid and the juice from the puree.
Add lime and vodka (if using). The vodka helps the mixture not freeze so solid, but is not entirely necessary.
Place mixture into a 9×13-inch pan and place in freezer. Set timer for 1 hour. After 1 hour, scrape any ice crystals that have formed towards the center of the pan. Set timer for another hour and again scrape the ice crystals towards the center of the pan.
Continue until all of the liquid has formed ice crystals.

**You can use any type of berry you want! Don't even stop there, go even further, experiment with seasonal fruits and tantalise the taste buds.

Carrot Cake Cupcakes

My new year resoloutions start off with a bang. I'm totally ontop of things, on top of the game. Then March comes by, and I tend to get a little slack. By the time April comes around the corner, don't even bother asking.


I suck at keeping resoloutions and goals for myself. I never ever ever in the history of this planet gone for a jog, let alone attempted a sit up. Forget that.

But this year it's different. The tables have turned, I AM going to stick to my resoloutions this year. I'm going to live by them, and learn from them. Hahahah I can't beleive I'm saying all this, by the time Feburary says hello, I'll be exactly the same: lazy and slack.
New Years Resoloutions
1. Do well in school
2. Get a Boyfriend
3. Get fit, and finally go for a jog without breaking down after 2 minutes of running.
4. Be a healthy freak

What are your New Years resoloutions? Make sure you stick to them and don't follow in my lazy footsteps. I don't want to be the one dragging you down.


Carrot cake anyone?

I nearly would of been able to eat these healthy/scrumptious morsels, but the vanilla essence totally ruined it for me.

Urggh! Don't even ask about this picture. I absoloutley suck at putting mixture into patty pans. A simple job for an everyday baker- yet for me, totally different story. Huge globs managed to splat all over the muffin tray and onto the sides of the case, resulting in an ugly looking, but definate crowd pleaser.

Carrot Cake, you know you love it.

Carrot Cake Cupcakes

- 2 Eggs

- 1 cup of grated carrot (approx. 2 large carrots)

- 1/2 tsp vanilla essence

- 3/4 cup plain flour

- 1/2 tsp bi-carb sodsa

- 1/2 tsp baking powder

- 1 cup of oil (Use any oil, I used sunflower oil)

- 1 tsp ground cinnamon

Beat together the sugar and eggs until creamy

Hallo Summerrrrrr!

Hey summer how are you?

Welcome. Please fill my December, January and February with warmth. But don't get too hot. Cos otherwise I will die. Literally.

I hate it when you get over 25 degrees, I can't handle it, and I go all sweaty and then sweat goes on my head, then it messes up my hair and my hair actually springs into an afro. Not pretty to look at.

So you get my drift, warm, to make up from those cold cold freezing months, but not to hot so that I regret wanting to have you make me warm. Comprende?

Good.
To make sure summer keeps you happy, entice your tastebuds. These recipes are tried, true and tusted, by the one and only me of course. With the exception that I can't eat any of course.. but their trusted.

Watermelon granita? To keep your insides as cool as a cucumber?
Blackberry Icecream cutsey of cutest cones? To bring bounce in to your berries?.. um, wow, that kind of sounded a bit like a soft porno.
You know what I mean.

Orrr.. just a simple fruit salad? Rustle up some chopped fruits, bung it into a salad bowl. Walla, a rainbow flavoured fruit salad.



If you're not really into that whole fruit fiesta thing. Indulge in something creamy but cold. 2 simple words.
A Cheesecake. Light, cold creamy with a hint of citrus.

Pistachio Fudge keeps sooo well in your freezer, I don't understand how this couldn't come under this sunny category. The coldness of the freezer maintains that fudgy grainy texture thats happening in the fudge.

Summer's happening. Be prepared. Go outside, enjoy the warmth of the grass tickling your feet, the beam of sun on your face...

LOL Joke, I'm staying inside this summer. Air conditioning and all, full blast.

P.s Have a fab Chrissy!

Ginger Walnut and Coconut Luncheon Biscuits

Made these last night at about 7'oclock because I was craaaving something sweet.

These aren't too sweet, too buttery, or too unhealthy. So, it's a pass for me, something I can eat. And I'm happy about that, who wouldn't be? A walnut crunch and a ginger hit. And if your lucky bits of shredded coconut stuck between your teeth as an extra bonus.

So healthy, so perfect and so versatile. Seriously. The recipe says to put in sultanas. Screw that.

I'm going to do it my way.

My way involves stepping in to the pantry. Looking at the first ingredient you lay your eyes on, Ginger powder. Second ingredient. I decided to wander my eyes up to the second shelf of the pantry, the nut shelf. Welcome walnuts. And I didn't see the coconut, but decided to throw it in anyway for a bit more flavour.

Ginger Walnut and Coconut Luncheon Biscuits

- 2 Tb softened butter

- 1/2 cup of Caster Sugar

- 1 Egg, well beaten

- 1 cup Sultanas (I used 1/2 cup walnuts and 1/2 cup of coconut, dessicated)

- vanilla essence, to taste

- 1 cup of Self Raising flour

- Pinch of salt

- 1/2 tsp of Ginger Powder

Method

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees celcius. And grease a baking tray.

Cream the butter and sugar. Beat in the egg, then fold in the sultanas (walnuts and coconut), vanilla and sifted flour. Add the pinch of salt and the ginger powder, and place heaped teaspoobs of the mixture on to the prepared tray. Cook for 10-15 mins until golden brown.

Royal White Icing

I was just in the kitchen for 2 hours. Oh my god.

Oh my god, I'm exauhsted.
Oh my god, I just decorated a Gingerbread house
And oh my god, my mum is going to kill me because there is sugar absoutly everywherrrrrre.

Bits of wafer sticks in my hair, maltesers rolling on the floor, sugar sticking to your feet, and royal icing all over the kitchen tops.

Cuuuuute, eh? Totally worth those 2 hours.

Yes, that is popcorn coming out of the chimney. We (me + the sister) were going to go alll out, but it turned out (not surprisingly) we were out of basically everything. We rummaged around in the pantry and managed to pull out some ice-cream wafered cones. Not something you would use in a gingerbread house.

Did I care? No.
Was I desperate? Yes.

I think you get the drift. Just about every sweet thing I saw I threw in... and there were only like 3 things sweet in the pantry..so it to do.

I didn't even tell you what this was for did I? IKEA.. only like my favrioute store, is having this huuge gingerbread house competition. All you have to do is buy the gingerhouse, construct it.. and design it! I didn't go all out like I said I would, but then again, my pantry didn't exactly help me out in any way did it?

Dont worry! I've still got a recipe for you!

Royal Icing
- 2 egg whites
- 3 cups of icing sugar

Method
- Whip egg whites until soft peak form, then gradually add in sugar, and keep beating until mixture becomes very thick and well combined. Spoon in to a piping bag and pipe pipe pipe away.

Pumpkin Scones

Okay, looking at my last post, these I have tried. About 2 minutes ago. I was totally stuffing my face.

These scones are really hard to describe. I'm not even sure we should call it a scone, in reference to the picture above (by the way, how good is my photography!) it looks kinda like a Pumpkin Bun.

It all starts off with a questionable Pumpkin.

Getting the skin off the Butternut Pumpkin was just about the hardest thing I have done.. no joke. The skin was like trying to peel bark off a tree.

Pumpkin in the steamer, butter measured, flour measured and egg cracked.

Job finished. Jobe done. Result? Mmm, not that great but still a tummy filler if you like to heat huuge amounts but don't want to eat anything fattening because you don't want to gian weight. Like me.

Pretty sure I just popped the last one in my mouth like 30 seconds ago. Umm...

Pumpkin Scones

- 60g Butter

- 3/4 cup Pumpkin

- 1 Egg

- 1 Tb sugar

- 2 cups of SR Flour

Preheat oven to 220 degrees celcius. Chop up some pumpkin and place into a steamer. Mash when steamed so your left with a pumpkin puree. Sift flour and sugar into a large bowl, and combine well. Rub butter into your fingers in a motion that seperates it and combines with the dry mixture. Make a well in the middle of the mix and crack an egg, and place the warm steamed pumpkin into the well. Stir with a butter knife, and do not overmix. In the oven for 10-20 minuites or until brown.

An Apple and Rhubarb Crumble

Okay, I've got a secret to tell you. Something I haven't told you about my self.

Oooh this sounds really spooky, creepy and exciting, doesn't it!? Like I'm secretly a CIA Agent or a spy. But, sorry to crush your hopes, I'm no Jackie Chan.

I have chronic fatigue. Good enough, you're thinking. How the hell is that a 'secret'? I'll tell you.
It's actually very complicated, I am seriously tired all the time, but thats not what buggers me the most (and let me tell you, I HATE being tired).

I am very limited to what I can eat. Let me elaborate. I'm not limited. I'm verrrrrrry limited.
- I can't eat too much sugar. There goes all those desserts
- I can't eat cheese
- I cant eat meat (well, I already couldn't eat meat, because I'm vegetarian)
- I can't have ANY fruit
- I can only eat some vegetables
- And, let me just say.. when I say no exesscive sugar, I mean.. Ice-cream, Cakes, Puddings, Even Chocolate!

Kill me now.
So I've been lying to you guys because.. whenever I write 'That cheesecake post below is so creamy!'. I literally have no idea what it even tastes like. Literally. No. Idea.
I only write that stuff from feedback from friends and family. I actually have never eaten a single peice of food from this blog.

Depressing I know, do I want to eat it? HECK YES. Those crunchy Anzac biscuits reaaally hit the spot. I am seeing every doctor possible that I can, to help me eat normal food again. And when I say normal, I don't mean cheese, or salads with fancy vinigarettes.. I mean donuts, Pancakes, Cheesecakes, Puddings, Mud Pies.

Sorry I totally loaded all that rant on to you. You must be feeling my pain, and feeling sypathetic for me. Don't.
You need to indulge In a Crumble.

   Apple and Rhubarb Crumble

- 1 bunch (425g) rhubarb, cut into 2cm pieces
- 3 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and sliced
- 2 tablespoons caster sugar
- finely grated rind and juice of 1 orange
- 3/4 cup self-raising flour, sifted
- 3/4 cup Healtheries Berry & Apple Bircher Muesli
- 100g butter, chilled, cubed
- 1/4 cup brown sugar
- 1/2 cup roasted hazelnuts, roughly chopped

Method

1. Preheat oven to 180°C. Put rhubarb, apple, sugar, orange rind and juice into a rectangular ovenproof dish (26cm x 16cm). Stir until well-combined.
   
2. Combine flour and muesli in a large bowl. Add butter. Using your fingertips, rub butter into flour and muesli mixture. Stir in sugar and hazelnuts. Sprinkle over rhubarb and apple mixture.
   
3. Bake for 45 minutes or until crumble is golden brown. Serve immediately.